Good-Bye To Madness

The Blog of Madness is no more...enter "The Net of Stormbringer"!

Overclocked Remix of the Week

Talk about a royal rumble...this may be the BEST Zelda remix EVER.

The Bunny Reenacting Guild Presents

...their special interpretation of The Shining!

And for those of you who missed it, here's an encore presentation of the Guild's interpretation of The Exorcist...

The Florida Panthers Just Got Fiercer

Jacques Martin is their new head coach, hired by new general manager, Mike Keenan. Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi...

It's Mean, It's Green...

...and it's being reviewed by Rod Brind'Amour. It's Shrek 2, starring George Foreman!

David Hasselhoff Doing Hip-Hop?

I wish I was kidding...

"Ice-T, who was one of the first real hip-hop stars in the late 1980s, said: "The man is a legend. And we are going to show a whole new side of him."

The rapper is said to be convinced that the 51-year-old for Knight Rider and Baywatch actor can take on the biggest names in rap, reports The Sun.

Ice-T added: "He's gonna come out as Hassle The Hoff - I promise you. The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humour."

Stolen Rare Cello Located In LA Garbage Bin

Giving new meaning to "One's trash is another's treasure.".

THIS Is News?!

Yikes. And I thought Lenny Kravitz's first date habits were bad...

First, the Flowers Were Wrong

And then, the champagne was not Korbel.

A Principal May Not Be A Teacher...

...but when a school hosts a pie throwing party*, you should expect possibly getting a pie in your face, regardless of your position.

* - Whatever happened to just having a good old-fashioned pizza party?

First Elvis Presley...

...and now Andy Kaufman.

Does Liquorice Also Have Too Many Carbs?

I swear everything will eventually be deemed bad for you...

A Real Superhero For the Millennium

Roll over Spider-Man...Geek-Man's in town.

Congratulations to the 2004 Eastern Conference Champs, the Tampa Bay Lightning!

Thank you Bolts for not only getting Philly and Primeaudonna out of the race, but also and especially making my dream of a Stanley Cup Final where I'm happy with whoever wins finally come true...

Forget Ben Affleck, Here's A Real Daredevil

As AC/DC would say, she's got balls.

Can Star Wars Be Saved?

They're talking about Episode Three, but I think it could also apply to the franchise as a whole...NO. Episodes One and Two were horrendous. I don't even know where to begin: The overall kiddy feel and element (I know Anakin/Darth Vader was a kid, but STILL...Link's a kid in the majority of The Legend of Zelda video games, and those aren't kiddy. Not even Wind Waker, contrary to popular belief.), Jar-Jar Binks, and Yoda getting down with his dirty self in Return of the Clones. I'll never forget how much I laughed my a** off at the Yoda doing his impression of Bruce Lee...very unlike the Yoda to who we were introduced in The Empire Strikes Back

It's very safe to say that despite producing excellent series of movies in the original Star Wars trilogy and the Indiana Jones trilogy, AND owning a kicka** computer game company in LucasArts, (you truly have not lived until you have played The Secret of Monkey Island) Lucas is past his prime. And that was made official with the release of Star Wars: Episode One.

And I'm not the only one...as demonstrated by MSNBC and Overclocked Remix.

(PG-13 language warning for the Overclocked link...)

Edit: Did I say Lucas being past his prime was official with the release of Star Wars: Episode One? Try when he decided to write the confounded thing and its siblings to follow...SouthernHockeyChick @ LetsGoCanes.com put it best:

"The kid playing Anakin is an amazing actor. The problem is the lousy freakin' dialogue. It even makes Natalie Portman and Ewan McGregor look like lousy actors. Lucas was intelligent enough NOT to write the dialog for all three of the originals, why he thinks he can do it now is beyond me. He's the guy providing the cool stuff....let someone else hash out the story, for Christ's sake!!"

Overclocked Remix of the Week

While I'm not a huge fan of Chrono Trigger like every gamer and their cousin appear to be, I have always loved the Millennial Fair theme from that game. Next to Ryu's theme from Street Fighter 2 (along with its SF Alpha 1 and 2 versions), it may be my most favorite video game theme ever. And this version of the Millennial Fair theme is an absolutely lovely remix in a very Jethro Tull-ish vein, much like its title suggests.

Congratulations To the 2004 Western Conference Champs, the Calgary Flames!

Way to go boys. Gotta love them, Iggy, and especially Marty...including the upcoming Stanley Cup Finals, good ol' Monsieur Gelinas has been in two out the last three Cup finals. That ain't bad.

They're Not Dead, They Were Pining For Fjords!

All 266 of them.

Ah-nold Upset Over Bobbleheads



Y'know...I cannot help but wonder if the company that made the Arnies is the same one that produced the Carolina Hurricanes bobbleheads for Hardees back in late 2002...

How To NOT Be Swell

Today's Lesson: Getting rid of unwanted relatives and/or friends.

Firefighter Rents Out Fire Engine To Ladies' Galas

I don't know about you, but I prefer a limo.

Blech!

What's nastier than siphoning gas? I'll let you figure that one out...

You Want A Peculiar Crime?

You got it.

Thanks A Lot Janet Jackson

Thanks to you, Miss Rhythm Nation, men everywhere (somewhat) can't enjoy taking a peek at baseball players' enormous-bosomed wives.

How Horrible!

And yet, how stupid...even if you're being dared, one of the key rules of science labs is NEVER DRINK CHEMICALS!

Tony Randall Dead At 84

RIP, Mr. Unger.

The Worst Hockey Team Logos Ever

Except for the presence of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks' logo, (which, in all honesty, I''ve never found to be *that* bad...) most of the logos found on that site are real humdingers. My favorites...

- These *definitely* had to be done by the same artist. Perhaps that triangle guy from Seinfeld? Anyway, the logo for the Buffalo Stampede looks an awful lot like that cyclone dude/thing that always chased Mathman on Square One...

- Ok, lemme get this straight: The team's name is the Rockets, yet their mascot is a dragon? In the words of Bull from Night Court, oh-kay. I know I am one to talk with my favorite team's mascot being a hog and all, but at least a hog has ties to the Carolina region.

- My History of Marvel Comics coffeetable book happens to have the picture of Captain America this logo ripped off...

- Speaking of comic books, is it just me, or does this one look like the answer to "What if David Copperfield was a Batman villain?"?

- "Iceshark." is just not nearly as laugh-evoking as "Landshark."...even though the latter is easily what I envision this logo uttering.

It's rather appropriate that we are now in a 70's mood with the following coming up...last, but certainly not least:

- I don't know what kills me more, the name or the logo. "Macon Whoopie" is one of those names that make me go "Oh, how cute." and "Oh my god!" at the same time. And what the heck does a Maple leaf, or whatever the heck kind of leaf that is, have to do with whoopie? Do they even know what "Making whoopie" means? Did or does Bob Eubanks have a part?

The Things One Can Discover At Almost Three In the Morning...



I can now use emoticons and images in here! Yay!!







This is too cool...

D'oh!

I'm not sure these people deserved to know why they were not having children.

Bar-Made Cyborgs?

Sounds like a plot for a Sci-Fi spoof of sorts...

Sneezing To Not Play

First, the corked bat incident, and now sneezing "causing back spasms"...Sammy Sosa seems to have the most perplexing things happen to him.

If It Involves Mullets...

...you can bet Barry Melrose will be there.

Domo Origami, Mr. Roboto

C'mon Pittsburgh! Origami? When are we going to have a robot that can make mixed drinks?

Rules For A Brave New World

Except Halle Berry.

A Sunday Matinee

Two Calgary Flames joints. 8)

Hockey Gladiators?!

Grrrreat. Just what we need in this time of uncertainty about there being hockey next season, the Bertuzzi incident aftermath, and all...a WWE-like event involving hockey fights. As I said and TalkingCanes mentions, this is not going to do anything for hockey other than back up the idiots who think hockey is nothing but fight after fight after fight. (rolls her eyes)

From Domestic To Wild

Has this woman ever seen a bobcat before?

Bismarck or Charly?

I bet this poor cat is incredibly confused...

Student Sent Gun Instead of MP3 Player

Talk about getting more bang for your bucks...

Ever Wondered Why Lenny Kravitz Is Still Single?

You would be too if you didn't wear underwear or aftershave on a first date.

I don't know what boggles my mind more...how this stuff makes the news, or how someone even gets it to come out of the horse's mouth.

Yum, Yum...

Care for any 'Snot from the nose of the Great Buddha' or Deer Droppings?

Italian Police Get A Lamborghini

Almost kind of makes you want to break the law, doesn't it? ;)

Canes Sign Cam Ward

Coolio. :)

Introducing...the World Cup?

Vase? Glass? Pitcher? Toga? You make the call...

The Canadian media certainly isn't afraid to make the call...and quite frankly, I can't blame them on it.

Raleigh, North Carolina: The Number Two Smartest City In America

Woot! :) But at the same time, I cannot help going "Darn!", knowing we used to be numero uno only five years ago, only to lose the spot to Seattle...what's it take? More Starbucks coffee houses?

Syracuse Is Now the Orange, Man

But of course, in this day and age of ridiculous political correctness...whatever or whoever the heck was offended. I cannot help but be a tiny bit bugged by the following quote from Cuse's athletic director:

"We are unique in that we are the only college or university to have orange as its official color."

THE ONLY COLLEGE/UNIVERSITY TO HAVE ORANGE AS ITS OFFICIAL COLOR?! Hold the phone...dude, have you seen the uniforms and/or floors of Princeton, Clemson, Auburn, Tennessee, Oregon State, Texas, Florida, Miami, Virginia, and Oklahoma State to name a few? Obviously not.

Brindy vs. Starsky and Hutch

Nah...he ain't fightin' them, just reviewing them and their movie, darnit.

How About A Cold Brewski, Eh?

Or two or three or four...the Tampa Bay Lightning, and amazingly NOT any of the teams north of the border, might become the first team to give its season ticket holders the mighty generous gift of unlimited free beer for an entire season.

You know this is a bad idea when even some of the most avid beer drinkers I know oppose it. I think JeffBear at FanHome said it best...

"Aw man...is this the NHL or the freaking Arena Football League?"

So Bolts, why can't you just offer a discount of some sort like everybody else?

Edit: And apparently, the 'Ning have never heard of the infamous Ten Cent Beer incident that took place at a Cleveland Indians baseball game in 1974...admittingly, I've never heard of it until I read about it on a thread about this subject in the Metroboards Columbus Blue Jackets forum. But, as popular as baseball is, you'd think at least one person in the Lightning front office would know about the Ten Cent Beer incident...

Edit numero dose: And the tap has been turned off.

Edit numbre trois: And now, it can't be decided if the offer/promotion/whatever was going to be for the entire season, the rest of the playoffs, or just the Eastern Conference Final against Philly. Whatever it was for, at least the Bolts are getting their much deserved desserts over such a dumb idea...

The WHA Took My Cane(s) Away!

I sure hope I don't have to say that come July 10th...

Overclocked Remix of the Week

What about the sheep?! Figuring out where all the bits and pieces used in this one come from has got to be the musical equivalent of figuring out how many licks it takes to get to the center (or centre if you're in Canada ;) ) of a Tootsie Pop...

The Legend of Zelda: The Real Thing

Calling it the "real thing" may be a stretch at this point...but if Nintendo stays true to these screenshots, they and the Zelda series might just win back the fans that were lost with The Wind Waker.

Danger Cat?

Where's Danger Mouse when you need him?

Rat's Urine Not Good For Breasts

Well, duh.

Another One For the "This Is Art?" Files

I guess the name of the game these days is if it causes some kind of controversy, it's art...

Wow

Just wow.

Wanna Get High?

Bang goes the idea of having one of the wine tasting functions on the rooftop of the RBC Center...22,000 feet?! Dang.

Share the Madness!

I may not agree with a few of you on some issues...but I am benevolent enough to now allow you to post your comments and opinions here. Just *please* keep them PG-13 for the most part. ;)

Somebody Likes Their Kikkoman...

...a little too much.

AND CONGRATULATIONS TO JUSTIN WILLIAMS AND TEAM CANADA!!

On their Gold victory over Sweden!

And say...is that the Canes' own Pete Friesen holding a medal? :D

CONGRATULATIONS TO LAVY AND TEAM USA!!

Beating the Slovaks for the Bronze in World Championships isn't a shabby task...way to go boys! :)

First India...

...and now Germany is up for the role of the most Latveria (country ruled by Dr. Doom in Fantastic Four that has laws about laughing and smiling)-like country.

These countries need to take a cue from Shoebox Greetings, a tiny division of Hallmark, the company I work for, and their slogan...life is too short not to laugh.

It's Good To Be A Bird Brain

As Baggio demonstrates.

They're Not Alright

I just can't help but wonder if these people saw Caddyshack and/or a certain part in that film.

Further Proof That Airline Food Sucks

As if we really needed any more proof...though, I cannot help but ask: Was the frog crunchy?













And for those of you about to puke, you obviously have never seen Monty Python. ;)

Germany Calling

Looks like they need Erik Cole or someone to tell them to click-it or ticket.

Everyone AND Everything Is Besotted With Angelina Jolie

And how is this news?

And Only In New Joysey

Would a town rename itself after a drink make popular by Sex and the City...

Talk About Biting the Bullet

Literally.

A Little "Goldmember" With Your Novacaine?

A movie while your teeth are being worked on is not a bad idea...I just hope the dentist behind such an idea has a better selection of films than Papa John's...

(And for those of you who see this when Papa John's deal ends, the movies are Don Juan De Marco, Trial and Error, and Weekend At Bernie's...how on Earth they can call getting one of those a deal with your pizza is way beyond me...)

Only In Romania

Would a sign deter would-be thieves. But hey, whatever works and is cheaper than a security system...

Forget Katmandu, I'm Going To Casablanca

I want to be able to say that I've been in this place.

When This Happens, It's Nothing

Until the witness is Ben Affleck.

Um, Yeah...

Like that would really make me give that guy a vote...

Happy Mother's Day!

Hope it's a good one for you, your wife, and/or your mother...better not have forgotten to get her or them that card and/or gift. ;)

G.D. Preaches It About Preachy Comics

I gotta get out an "AMEN!" to the above linked article by the N&O's G.D. Gearino, someone whose articles I've really gotten into lately. While I am normally not one to care about politics per se, get into heated political debates online, etcetera; I myself have got to question this need among various entertainers to show a brazen liberal attitude. Is there a written rule somewhere that when you get into entertaining, you have to be preachy about world issues and crap? If there is, it had to be scribed by Alan "This damn war!" Alda, whose taking over as producer/director was the final nail in M.A.S.H.'s coffin. Whatever happened to entertaining for the sake of, well, entertaining? Entertainment makes the world go 'round as much as, if not more than politics and social issues. The only pieces of entertainment to ever meld with political and social issues successfully was All In the Family, at least until Meathead and Gloria had Joey and moved out of the Bunkers' home; and The Jeffersons.

And at the risk of being a little hypocritical: I cannot help but agree with the many declaring the "war" in Iraq the next Vietnam. I was very much for the purpose of going there, to put Saddam Hussein out of power and capture him. But now that that's been done, why don't we just get the hell out of there, ok? I normally wouldn't even bring this up, but I cannot help but be a little concerned about the talks of a potential war draft. I know I probably shouldn't be worried, since women are supposed to be exempt from such a thing. But, I'm very willing to bet my sweet bippy that some feminist wacko will come along and say some crap about if the draft is good enough for men, then women should be included too. And people wonder why I hate feminism...if such a thing happens, then to paraphrase Floyd from The Andy Griffith Show AND quote my favorite former Canes player and captain: I'm going to Toronto. Then again, I've heard rumors that even Canada is entertaining the idea of a draft... (insert a frightened emoticon and dramatic organ music here)

The Ronnie Watch - May 6th, 2004

Well, according to this morning's N&O, Ronnie was scratched because of a back injury. If that really is true, then I take back some of my rant below...though, it still sucks that his career will possibly end with having to sit in the pressbox for the final playoff game. :(

Also mentioned is what has been the same old song and dance for the last couple of seasons in that Ronnie is indecisive over the future of his career.

And now TSN.ca is mentioning the back injury...

According to Sportsline.ca, Ronnie is contemplating staying around for another NHL season. Again, nothing really new and so far very reminiscent of the last couple of post-seasons...

May 7th, 2004

And yet another article where Ronnie says he's going to have to think about playing vs. retiring. I cannot help but like this quote...

"I'll do what I usually do, go home and spend a month with my family. ... It's been a couple of months since I've seen them."

It's not often that you hear or see a NHL player talk about their family like that. And that's why I cannot help but always have respect for Ron Francis...as this further proves:

"My family has suffered enough with my playing schedule for the past sixteen years. Professional hockey is not as glamorous as many people might like to believe. There is a lot of travel involved and large amounts of time spent away from your family. All things considered, I have no beefs. But I missed my daughter's first steps and first words. Those are things you can't make up for." - From For the Love of Hockey, circa 1996/97.

With those words and such, how on Earth anyone can diss this dude is beyond me. But unfortunately, people still do...as this ditty shows. I hate telling Tom-bo and the few easily amused by that, but Ronnie never really whined as a Leaf. As a matter of fact, not counting the press conference when he came to Toronto, the only thing ever uttered by Ron as a Leaf that I can recall was a comment about how incredible the crowd was at a game in Montreal. Not really whining, if you ask me. But whatever...keep it up y'all, you're just making the Caniac Nation look no better than the very T.O. and Detroit faithful that are often and more deservedly the butt of such jokes.

Overclocked Remix of the Week

Vibe out to this, a fabulous smooth jazz piece from a fabulous game...Strider is easily one of Capcom's most underrated games, along with Cyberbots.

CarolinaHurricanes.com Presents: Brindy Does the Movies

Starting with Miracle.

The Ronnie Watch - May 4th, 2004: Leafs vs. Flyers, Game Six

Well, I would usually have a game recap link, but well...Ronnie did not play in this, the potential final playoff game of his career. Now whether it was because of injury or Pat Quinn being his usual idiotic self, I don't know, and probably never will. But I do know this: If it was the latter, my biscuits are burned to the point of being hockey pucks. And it's not just because of Quinny-Boy, but also he and his team's league of devotees alias Deluded Fruitcakes Anonymous* and their all of a sudden placing the blame of falling out of the race for Lord Stanley's Prize for the thirty-seventh time on Ronnie Franchise. Yo Leaf Nation, Ronnie came up to your freakin' Center of the Hockey Universe and did the part he was advertised to do: bit player and power player. He did nothing less, he did nothing more. Yeah, Ron did not produce a ton of points...but any hockey loving idiot could look at the part of this season with the Canes and spot that trend. Then again, I shouldn't say "any hockey loving idiot", considering that a good chunk of the Leafs faithful appear to not pay attention to past stats of their team's players.

With all that said...if we are going to place the blame of missing out on the Cup on anyone, why not Bryan McCabe, with his incredibly miserable Game Five against Philly? Or Eddie Belfour, and his not being the shutout king he was against Ottawa? Or Wade Belak, and his just being Wade Belak? If we're going to play the frickin' Blame Game here, let's choose players who have good reason to be blamed. No, Ronnie was not the completely stellar man he was in the Canes' heyday of early-mid 2002, but it's rather hard to be stellar when you are forty-one years old and a mere third line winger who *really* should be on center...further proof that Quinn doesn't think. He obviously never followed Mo's experiment with having Ron on wing, as evidenced by Ronnie's being on wing not once but AT LEAST TWICE under Quinn! And when did Ron get the majority of his points as a Leaf? That's right, in the center/centre position. Not to mention how the power play tonight sucked without Ronnie there to help control it...

In somewhat closing, the man does not deserve to end his great career with such a stinko move by Quinn and the Leafs like that. As I said in a thread @ Metroboards: For The Ron to be scratched in what may possibly be his final playoff game EVER is quite a slap in the face to a guy who left the team he practically symbolizes to help his childhood favorite. In that regard, I cannot help but feel bad for my overall favorite NHLer...and am seriously reconsidering my idea of having Ronnie sign my 75th Anniversary Leafs puck (a souvenir I picked up from the Canadian pavilion at Disney World's World Showcase in Epcot) at the Jimmy V Golf Classic, should he be coming to that in August.

I seriously would not mind the Canes resigning Ronnie to do a Kevin Dineen, and play one or two or three games and then retire. I feel he deserves a much better end to his career than tonight, but it all depends upon Ron, how he feels, and what he wants to do.

* - Not all Leaf fans are deluded fruitcakes...just like Detroit fans, there are a few good Leaf fans out there, like the Leaf fans I've met at Metroboards and Ron Francis himself. As much as Francis has talked in various interviews about growing up watching the Leafs in Soo and all, I again cannot help but feel bad for the dude and his dream. :(

I Love Revenge

And so does Martin Gelinas, who got the game-winning goal in Game Six to oust the Wings from the race for Lord Stanley's prize. Way to go Marty and the Flames! Man, if it comes down to them and the Sharks in the West... I don't know who I will cheer for. I'm just not sure I could cheer against Marty, Iginla, and all...

Anyway, the way Marty got that goal, it was almost like he was saying "This is for 2002". >:)

The Ronnie Watch - May 2nd, 2004: Leafs at Flyers, Game Five

They say history never repeats, but I swear it did today...7-2 Flyers. I'm not sure if that was the score in last year's Leafs/Flyers Game Five, which happened to be a shellacking in the First Union/Wachovia/Whatever Center, AND took place in the afternoon just like today's "game".

Ronnie had an assist on Nieuwendyk's goal (his fourth point of the playoffs) and the final shot on goal for the Leafs.

And an aside...I never thought I'd see the day when my Caniac brethren would cheer for Primeau over Francis. To paraphrase the late, great Edmund Blackadder II, the devil farts in both Ronnie and I's faces... >:*(

Update: Fellow Metroboards poster and General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs forum there, DoubleO365, was kind enough to provide the following info about the 2003 Leafs/Flyers Game Five:

"It was like...4-1 last year."

Not quite as bad as 7-2, but still a shellacking...

This Is So Looney Tunes

And this is so Night Court.

Awwwww

Look at the "wittle" baby elephant!

Then Again...

Maybe the said bank needed one of these.

Is Mr. Dreysdale the President?

That could explain why this bank wasn't able to even give away its money.

Unlike A Lot of Politicians...

...this one is actually being honest.

Contest? What Contest?

Anything where you have to pay one million pounds for a chance to win a £180,000 house, the contest holder keeps the money, AND there's a possibility that you may not win the house but money form entries instead IS NOT A CONTEST.

The Duke of Edinburgh Hates His Portrait

And I don't blame him one bit...

His Name Is Lucky

And he is afraid of flying.

When Spider-Man Isn't Around...

...Mary Jane Watson turns to her blanky.

Some Horrible News: Another Update

Well, I finally got to see my grandmother today. Her progress had been going downhill...she had a stroke Wednesday or Thursday due to incredibly high blood pressure (Over 200!!), and that affected her brain stem, causing her to be paralyzed on her left side. :(: And yesterday morning, the doctors told my dad on the phone that various parts of my grandmother's body, like her kidneys, were shutting down. BUT today, she is doing much better...her kidneys are functioning ok, and they took her off the ventilator for a little bit to see how she would do. And so far, my grandmother has breathed pretty good without the ventilator. She's still on the ventilator, but the nurse told us that it was not on as strong as the past couple of days.

My grandmother was very, very delighted to see me. She cannot talk, but she kept squeezing my hand and was very responsive to my presence. I plan to go see her tomorrow...

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers everyone...I told my grandmother about them, and she squeezed my hand the hardest she could and opened her eyes as wide as she could. The poor woman's eyes...they were so bruised, but are in the process of healing. My dad said that her eyes a few days were a horrible black and blue mess... :(

Yet Another Update as of May 2nd, 12:12 am: Well...my grandmother just died. :( The hospital called around 11:30, and said they had completely taken out the ventilator like they said they would, and my grandmother immediately gave out. It turns out that the stroke I mentioned earlier had affected her breathing and gag reflex.

Needless to say, I feel lucky to have seen her when I did. But at the same time, I feel devastated...especially after walking away, feeling like she just might have had a chance. :(